You know you haved lived in Spain when...

1. You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.
2. You can’t get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out?
3. You aren’t just surprised that the Spanish plumber / decorator / electrician has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all.
4. You think it’s fine to comment on everyone’s appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.
5. Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.
6. On msn you sometimes type ‘jajaja’ instead of ‘hahaha’
7. Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: ‘bueno,’ ‘coño,’ ‘vale,’ ‘venga,’ ‘pues nada’...
8. You know how to eat boquerones.
9. You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.
10. You know that after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.
11. You know you must take two days off when you have to do any official paperchasing, for cars, residence, etc.
12. You know how to change a bombona.
13. It’s not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking ‘Quien?’(or maybe that was just my flatmate…)
14. You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!
15. On some Sunday mornings you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.
16. You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion…
17. You know that ‘ahora’ doesn’t really mean now.
18. When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.30…if you’re lucky!
19. To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for ‘un esmirnoff’.
20. Blonde girls actually start to think their name is ‘rubia’. If something is great, it’s ‘de puta madre’.
21. If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won’t make sense.
22. When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it’s standard practice to ask ‘Quien es la ultima?’
23. When you have the habit of answering the above question “Ahora es Usted”.
24. Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?
25. You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, machoor even tronco than their real name.
26. You answer the phone by saying ‘Yes’. Or even ¿Diga?
27. You prefer UHT milk.